Is your child older than 3? If so, you should not be witness to any tantrums! Yet, it is becoming common place with children today, especially tweens. In New York City, parents are paying upward of 400 hundred dollars an hour to have therapists sit with their children to do daily homework. Do you see something askew here? Or is this a familiar scenario in your home???
Children definitely experience more pressure today than in the past. Schools have high expectations for their students. But more than this, parents expectations are enormous. The only acceptable grade is an “A”. Where did kids get this idea? They did not come up with it on their own.
I believe it is the latest version of “keeping up with the Jones”. Kids feel the weight of the pressure and get acceptance and gratification from the parent(s) when the A’s roll in. (not all parents exude this kind of pressure!)
One expedient way of handling this burden is for the child to tantrum while demanding the parent does the homework. So what can be done? Parents, is this your homework? NO. Do you want to become a slave to your child and their grades? The answer should be NO! But many give in. Many blame the teachers. “ Oh the work is soooo difficult, they need me!” As a therapist, I’ve heard it all!!!!
Solutions are simple. Do not engage in the homework process. Try to have a homework routine-homework should ideally be done at the same time and in the same place each day. Answering a question is certainly acceptable. But more than 2 questions? Probably not! It’s how kids learn to problem solve and build self esteem. Don’t take that from them! If they are truly having difficulties, extra help from the instructor or having a *study buddy* come over are both terrific solutions.
The value of homework still stands today. Allow your child the pleasure of success without pressure or too much “help.”
Life will improve for everyone.